I’m a handsome man, but lady luck has never glanced my way.
Recently Square-Enix released their first “Story” DLC for Final Fantasy XIII-2. Sazh: Heads or Tails focuses on everybody’s favorite afro-ed pilot from Final Fantasy XIII and, of course, his son Dahj. Described by Square-Enix as containing “new casino content and a new episode featuring Sazh in Serendipity” we queued up the download and decided to check this one out.
When starting up your saved game you’ll access Heads or Tails by hitting a new entry on the Historia Crux, ”Serendipity -??? AF-”. Entering this time will put you in control of Sazh inside Serendipity, the Casino that exists outside of time that you visited in the main campaign. After a bit of story that I won’t give away, Sazh will be informed that he’s trapped further outside the timeline and must win fortune medals, by gambling well, to win his freedom and find his son.
If this doesn’t make much sense to you, you’re not alone. The reason Sazh ends up at the Serendipity is never really explained and you are simply given Casino Coins until you win. You’ll start off with 10,000 but you can go grab more whenever you want. If this is starting to sound pointless then you’re on the right track. You’re getting it.
There are essentially two games you can play since slots don’t win you medals, only coins, and coins are free. The first game is Serendipity Poker, which is just Texas Hold’em with the standard everyday rules you’ll find anywhere, so I won’t go into much detail. The second game is a brand new experience called Chronobind. This game is actually fun and is sort of a combination of Roulette and Hearts where players aim to play the high card in the trick as high card gets to spin the clock according to the number of the card played. If a player lands where there is stack of coins he can cash out and the pot builds up every time the clock passes thirteen.
Sadly, this is all there is to Sazh: Heads or Tails. I’m not kidding; a short cut-scene to open, another to close and the rest is playing two casino games, one of which is just Texas Hold’em poker. Fortune medals can also be gained by finding Chocobo chicks for Chocolina, but that isn’t even a game, they’re just hanging around the small area of the casino. There is no bit of actual RPG in here. To add insult to injury, you will win Sazh as a ‘Monster’ to control in your Paradigm at the end but he’s a Synergist. I don’t know about you, but I never found one occasion to use a monster Synergist in the main game.
The bottom line is that this DLC was touted as an ‘episode’ in an RPG but it turned out to be two mini-games, two cut-scenes and a bit of running around. Unless you were in terrible need of a Synergist monster for your paradigm, for some reason, I would stay far away from Sazh: Heads or Tails. Chronobind is fun for a few minutes but as a whole this DLC is utterly disappointing.